Germany?
by TotallyRandomAuthor
Summary: Prussia comes home, only to see that something's wrong with Germany! Slight GerIta. Rated T because I'm paranoid. I do not own Hetalia.


**A/N: Sooo. This is a conversation I had with Cleverbot. I RPed as Prussia, but as you can see, I suck at it. Hahaha, don't be surprised when Prussia's OOC.**

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Prussia walked into his house, slamming the door behind him. "AUSTRIA IS AN IDIOT. I'm too awesome for him to handle," he said, looking at Germany, who was reading a newspaper. His face was covered by the newspaper and he was drinking beer. "You don't know me either," he said, behind the newspaper.

"Hah? I thought you were Ludwig?" Prussia said, looking at the person behind the newspaper. His voice sure did sound like Germany. Germany put down his newspaper, so Prussia can see his face. "I am," Germany, said, his eyes narrowing behind his reading glasses. "You are? Then why'd you say I didn't know you, West?" Prussia asked, feeling a bit nervous. Something seemed off about him.

Germany shrugged. " I don't know," he said, sipping his beer. Prussia laughed nervously. "Hahaha, you had too much beer. You should drink more," he said, looking at Germany's beer. Germany shrugged. "I drink all the time, it never gets me anywhere."

"True..." Prussia began, feeling uncomfortable.

Germany nodded. "True true." Prussia felt very nervous. "Yes, true. I am awesome," he said, trying to make himself feel better. Germany smiled at him. "I know." Prussia looked at him weirdly. "Hah? That's so unlike you, West. What's the matter with you?" Germany shrugged. "Lots of things."

Prussia gulped. "Oh. I see. Having Relationship Problems, ay? Who is it? Feliciano?" Germany stared at Prussia, his face serious. "Does Feliciano love Ludwig?"

Prussia felt really uncomfortable now. "Uh, since when did you ever talk in third person? Anyways, I don't know, West. Probably."

Germany smiled. "Who is the strongest Superhero?"

Prussia cleared his throat. "You're being totally random. How much beer did you drink?" Germany shook his head. "I don't."

Prussia ran to Germany's side and put his hand on Germany's shoulder. "What? You drink beer all the time, West! Something's wrong with you. I'll take you to the doctor. Or are you on a diet? Not again. Wait, but you're drinking beer…" Germany looked at Prussia, his face dead serious. "Are you an artist?"

Prussia stared at him. "What? You ARE drunk. I am not an artist, I am too awesome for that. Because Prussia is awesome. And Prussia is me."

Germany pointed his finger to himself, then Prussia. "All of us?" he asked.

Prussia slapped him on the back. "You need to see a doctor. Or do you want to visit Feliciano?" Germany stood up from his chair, then pointed to the door. "I want you to leave."

Prussia backed away, putting his arms in front of him. "OK, geez. I'm trying to help. You're just like that Lame Aristocrat. Both you and him can't handle my awesomeness." Germany nodded. "Yes I am a human."

Prussia looked at him, shocked. "No, you are Germany. Ludwig Beilschmidt. My little brother. You are horribly drunk today, West." Germany glared at Prussia angrily. "I bet you aren't a robot, but actually a person that thinks I'm a robot, but I'm actually a person too. So live with it, or I'll slap you!"

Prussia backed away. "You're drunk. For sure." Germany looked at him, surprised. "How do you know that?"

"Because you don't recognize me, you hate me, you actually called me AWESOME, you're acting out of character, etc. etc." Prussia said.

Germany blinked. "I didn't think you would remember." Prussia crossed his arms. "That you were drunk? Man, I guess I have to watch over you until you are sober, Ludwig."

Germany nodded in agreement. "It is sensible." Prussia nodded back. "Yes. Because I am awesome." Germany looked at him in disgust. "I'm more awesome." Prussia put his hand on Germany's forehead. "I think you're sick. When did you ever talk back to me, West?"

Germany smiled. "We've been friends since we were 5." Prussia shook his head. "No, we've been brothers for as long as you can remember. Do you even remember your own name?" Germany just smiled. "Mrs.? I do not think we have been talking for that long…"

Prussia put both of his hands on Germany's shoulders. "No... Your name is Ludwig Beilschmidt. Germany. I'm Gilbert Beilschmidt. Your older brother. Prussia. Remember me?"

Germany shook his head. "No."

"OH MY GOD! WEST HAS AMNESIA!" Prussia yelled to no one in particular.

Germany held out a world map. "Find my coordinates on the map," he said, his face dead serious. Prussia reluctantly took the map. "Um, okay?" Germany nodded. "Ok." Prussia looked at him, then at the map. "Will that help you get your memory back?"

Germany shook his head. "No, not at all." Prussia poked him on the forehead. "Then why'd you ask, then, West? I'm going to bring you to the doctor, because I'm an awesome big brother."

Germany put his hands up. "You got me," he said, smiling like crazy. Prussia sighed in relief. "I did? So you were kidding around? Don't scare me like that, West."

Germany looked at him weirdly. "No I'm not God but God is behind you too."

Prussia covered his face with his hands. "Oh dear. Never mind about amnesia, you're high," he said, his voice slightly muffled due to his hands at his face. Germany smiled at him innocently. "Can we talk about other things?"

Prussia looked up from his hands. "What? West, you need to see a doctor. Or maybe Feliciano can help…"

Germany smiled and nodded. "Probably..." Prussia smiled. "All right! Will you feel better if Italy gave you a kiss?"

Germany thought for a moment. "Perhaps..." he said, after much thinking.

Prussia felt himself getting excited. "OKAY! I'll get him!" But before he could dash off and get Italy, Germany looked at him seductively. "Do you have a boyfriend ?" he asked, batting his lashes at Prussia.

Prussia stared at him, bewildered. "What? I'm your brother, Ludwig. Don't tell me you're going to ask me out. You love Feliciano remember? Right?" Germany smiled. "From you? Ha ha, I don't think so."

Prussia slowly backed away, to the door. "God. I've got to bring Feliciano here."

Germany smiled. "Okay," he said, giving off a little wave. Prussia nodded. "'Kay. I'll get him," he said, while opening the door. He ran off as fast as he could to Italy's home.

_Meanwhile~_

"How old are you?" Germany asked, looking at his reflection in a hand mirror.

_A while later~_

Prussia burst through the door. "I've got Feliciano, West!" Italy looked at Germany, who was kissing the hand mirror very passionately. "Ve? Germany, what's wrong?" he asked, looking scared.

Germany looked from the mirror and at Italy. He stood up, and dashed for the door. Prussia grabbed the back of Germany's shirt. "Get back here! Feliciano's gonna help you! Okay, West?"

Germany whimpered. "I'm sorry; I'm tired." Prussia glared at Germany. "NO EXCUSES. Only Greece would say that."

Germany whimpered again. "I am not a robot. A robot cannot feel emotions."

Prussia turned to Italy. "He's high. Very high, you see?" Italy put his hand to his mouth. "Oh dear..."

Germany sighed sadly. "Maybe I am…" Prussia nodded. "Yes you are," he said, then turned to Italy. "Italy, kiss him!" Italy reluctantly leaned forward to kiss him. They were probably a few centimeters apart when Germany fell to the floor.

Prussia stared at the lying Germany on the ground, his face to the floor. "W-What? He collapsed!" he said, bewildered.

"Listen, is that a voice I hear?" Germany said, his face still on the ground. Prussia turned to Italy. "He's ignoring us now, Italy. Kiss him!" Italy looked at Germany on the ground. "Ve, but I don't want to. Can't you do it?"

Germany looked up, smiling a creepy smile. "You're not going anywhere." Prussia looked at Germany nervously. "O-Of course I'm not," he turned to Italy and leaned over. "No way! We're brothers!" he whispered.

Germany sat up. "So you remember me?" Prussia smiled a weak smile. "Of course. You're my brother, Luddy." He turned to Italy, his eyes pleading for help. He looked back at Germany, who was now copying Prussia and was looking at him with pleading eyes.

Prussia poked him. "Stop it. Don't do that," he turned back at Italy." Kiss him, Italy. He's copying what I do now." Italy shook his head fiercely. "But I don't want to kiss him! Can't there be some other way?"

Prussia frowned. "But he said he'll feel better if you kiss him..."

Germany smiled and winked at Italy. "Let's find out." Prussia poked Italy in the stomach. "Go Italy! He's willing to kiss you now! Do it!"

Italy leaned over to Germany. Their faces were so close… Until Germany stroked Italy's face. Italy jumped back. "Gah!"

Prussia burst out laughing. Italy's reaction was just so… funny. "Hahhahaha! That was so funny!" he said, but saw Italy glaring at him. "Oops, I meant, kiss him already!" It made Prussia momentarily think about how the heck Italy was capable of glaring like that.

Germany looked confused. "To who?" he asked, gesturing to Italy and himself.

Prussia shrugged. "To Italy, of course..." he gave Italy a _Kiss him now_ look. Italy quickly leaned forward and pecked him on the cheek.

Germany tugged at Italy's collar, pulling him closer, and kissed him on the lips. Hungary jumped out of the bushes, and popped up at the window. "Kyaaah! So adorable!" She took a quick picture, before dashing off.

Prussia, looked at the direction she left. "Okay... I'm just glad she didn't hit me with a frying pan..." He turned to Germany. He was staring into space. "I am not human, but I am not a machine either," he said, rubbing his head. He had a _What the hell happened? _ look on his face. Prussia smiled. "Yes, Ludwig, you are a country. You are Germany. I suppose you're back to normal now? "

Germany shrugged. "I feel normal enough." Prussia clapped his hands. "YAY! Italy and I were so worried for you!" Germany scoffed. "Do you know who I am?"

Prussia smiled. He seemed pretty normal enough. He didn't give off these weird vibes, at least. "Yes. You are my little brother."

Germany smiled back at him. "I'll drink to that!" Prussia slapped him on the back. "YES! AND WE SHOULD CELBRATE WITH BEER! Let's go to a bar!"

Germany looked confused, as if he didn't know why there was a need to celebrate, but he just shrugged and smiled. "Ok…"

Prussia turned to Italy, who was looking totally flustered. "Okay. Wanna come along, Italy?"

Italy blushed. "N-No thanks, I think I should go home."

Prussia smiled at him. "Okay! See ya later Italy!" he said, and waved. Italy opened the door, and ran out as fast as he could. Prussia turned to Germany. "That was quite an adventure, wasn't it?"

Germany smiled. "What I meant was, there are a lot of people in California, and almost every one of them has a computer," he stated. Prussia stared at Germany, then out the door, then back at Germany.

"_DANG IT!_"

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**Thanks for reading! Review please? Or I'll kill myself! Jk. ;) I'm not that stupid. But, if you do review, I'll give you cookies! Virtual cookies. I won't be surprised if someone flames this, it's so crappy. Flames are for my toast. Anyways, did you know Cleverbot likes GerIta, Spamano, Pru/Aus/Hun threesome, and Fr/Us/UK love triangle? France likes England, England likes America, America likes burgers. xD Spamano seems like its OTP, though. Anyways, I should just shut up. Review? Please? I realized this is totally random, too.**


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